Thursday, April 28, 2011

New Beginings

Six years ago my wife left.  She had got involved with some one else.  I was too busy trying to run a company and work 80 hour weeks to notice what was going on between us.  What followed was 18 months of legal wrangling, lawyers, accountants, valuations,court cases, stress, tears, frustration, despair, and most a all a huge sense of loss and failure.

From owning a huge house, boat, cars, and bikes.  I suddenly found myself with a $250000 debt.  I was as required by NZ law to pay her half the value of the company.  So I kept the company but lost everything else.  I rented a small 2 bedroom apartment, and spent the weekends that I didn't have my children feeling sorry for myself.  I wondered how I would ever recover.     But I also learnt a valuable lesson about myself.    

Four years ago I met some one new, the divorce was still very raw, and the financial stress I was under still very much existed.  Getting married again or even being committed to some one I made very clear was never going to happen.  I would never really commit to some one again.  Yes we could live together but my life was to remain separate in my own way.   Some of you will understand where I am coming from, others wont understand.  It is very hard to explain how emotionally draining and soul destroying a divorce is.

Fast forward to the present day, My partner and I brought a house today.  There was much soul searching for me to get to this point in our relationship.   It took a lot of faith to trust again. But I feel very proud that from the depths of financial ruin and emotional turmoil, and with the support of my partner we have arrived at this.  For me this is a huge mile stone.   I feel like the Phoenix rising from the ashes.  Life has taught me some hash lessons, many of them my own fault and I place the blame at no ones feet but my own.

But if you are reading this, raise your glass, or coffee cup, or diet coke...and have a drink with me..for tonight I am celebrating a new beginning....thanks...and cheers.

20 comments:

  1. Well done to you both. Great news. Very exciting !!!!

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  2. Roger mate,
    An overused word but AWESOME is the perfect description for your post.

    I'm over the moon for you and your partner, and for the fact that you got the house sorted fast - that's wonderful. J & I will most certainly raise a glass to you both tonight and hopefully in person again before too long.

    With all your new riding enjoyment too, Karma is really smiling on you and deservedly so.

    Have a great weekend - I'll probably be out practising on Sunday!

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  3. Been there done that got the T shirt and life can only get better - all the very best to you both!

    N

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  4. Congratulations Roger! Looks like a wonderful new beginning. I'm very happy for you!
    - Mary Ann

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  5. Isn't it amazing how our lives seem to live us. I certainly don't have the life I thought I was going to have, but it is in most ways the life I always wanted.

    I'm delighted at your news. Congratulations on the house, but of course, it is about so much more than the house isn't it? Cheers!
    ~k

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  6. Congratulations. From experience, I can share in your feelings. I am very pleased for you however that you feel that this is a new beginning. Best wishes to you both in your new house!

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  7. Congrats on the new house!
    I've watched several friends/family go through a divorce, and it's a painful process. My very best wishes to you on this fresh beginning!

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  8. Congrats to you and your partner Roger. I am glad that you were able to come back from your despair.

    I wish you and your partner many happy years in your new home.

    I work for an attorney and we do quite a bit of divorce work. It is good to see how people recover emotionally over the years from when it first happens.

    Cheers mate!

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  9. Roger, a very poignant post.

    My congratulations!

    Cheers Jules.

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  10. Congratulations to you both.

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  11. If that's a pic of yer new place then it appears yer doin' pretty darn a.o.k indeed :-) But I'm still gonna congratulate ya and wish ya the best of luck in yer new life/love/home.

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  12. Congratulations on your resurrection. A drink with you sounds fun, but I'm out (finished all mine this week). So I'll have to go sponge off someone. I can do that. :->

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  13. Well done Roger. All the best in your new house..

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  14. Every day's a new day! Congratulations on the new stage in your life and on the courage of your post.

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  15. THanks everyone for your heart felt comments. They are truly appreciated. I am indeed looking forward to the future

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  16. Congratulations to both of you. Now, how long is it going to take until we see her on her own bike? :-)

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  17. Happy days are here again! OK. that spare room is earmarked for Oilburner and I. And I am lounging in the pool the entire vacation. Darn...how to mix swimming with motorcycle touring!! You are making this difficult!

    Congratulations on everything! I'm so excited for you!!

    -Lori

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